by Joe Cady
In today’s Gospel, Jesus instructs his disciples to put no limits on the forgiveness that we extend to others. Admittedly, this is not an easy thing to put into practice in real life. The reality is that people hurt us, people let us down, and it’s not always easy to let go of the anger or pain that we feel. But Jesus calls us to a truly radical standard of mercy, a standard that reflects and is in response to God’s great mercy toward us. An essential part of being a disciple of Jesus Christ is bearing witness to God’s love and being an instrument of healing and reconciliation in the world. And one important way that we do this is by forgiving those who have sinned against us.
One of the Spiritual Works of Mercy is to “forgive injuries” - the use of the word “injuries” reveals something important about sin: sin hurts. It wounds others, and it wounds us as well. A basic principle of morality is that what we do effects who we become. When we sin, we not only hurt others, but we hurt ourselves by damaging our very ability to love and live rightly. Sin injures, it damages, but mercy heals. Mysteriously, our love, mercy, and forgiveness toward others can actually have an effect on them. There is a fascinating passage in one of St. Peter’s letters that says, “Let your love for one another be intense, because love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Pet 4:8). This is both beautiful and mysterious. Somehow, in ways known only to God, our love and mercy can actually produce something, can bring about something in the hearts of others. We see this in God’s love toward us. When we open ourselves up to the mercy and forgiveness of God, we experience healing, hope, and restoration. The same is true for others. When we take the step to forgive someone, it can actually have a transformative effect on them. History has shown us that forgiveness is powerful, far more powerful the revenge and hate. Look at the example of St. Maria Goretti. While she was being attacked and eventually murdered she prayed for her killer. And later, while he was in jail, she appeared to him and said, “I forgive you, and I want to see you in Heaven.” And this act of forgiveness eventually led to the conversion of her killer, who became a religious brother. All this was possible because Maria chose to forgive.
In addition to transforming others, forgiveness has an effect on us as well. Paradoxically, holding onto anger and resentment actually hurts us more than it hurts others. We think that by not forgiving someone we are somehow getting back at them, but in reality it only cripples us. When we don’t forgive when we are injured by the sins of others, our anger and hatred can cause our hearts to become disfigured and ultimately hinder our ability to love. This idea is beautifully on display in the children’s book, The Tale of Despereaux. At one point in the story, the author says, “There are those hearts, reader, that never mend again once they are broken. Or if they do mend, they heal themselves in a crooked and lopsided way, as if sewn together by a careless craftsman. Such was the fate of Chiaroscuro. His heart was broken. Picking up the spoon and placing it on his head, speaking of revenge, these things helped him to put his heart together again. But it was, alas, put together wrong.” The damaging effects of sin are real and powerful, but the only remedy, difficult as it is, is forgiveness. To replace violence with peace, injury with help, hatred with love, retaliation with mercy… this is the way of the Gospel. And it is this that will have a transforming effect on the world around us.
But what exactly is forgiveness? Forgiveness is NOT saying, “It’s OK… what you did was no big deal.” When people hurt us, it’s not OK. Forgiveness doesn’t mean trivializing the wrongness of an action, it means saying, “even though you have done this, I still want what is good for you.” Antoinette Bosco, the mother of a murder victim, says that forgiveness is “a letting go of the desire for punishment and, instead, taking up the idea of restoration, of putting things back in some good order, although it may not be the same order… Forgiveness means feeling concern, even love, for the offender” (Choosing Mercy, 75). Forgiveness means looking beyond the injury to the person in need of mercy and healing. This is certainly not easy, but it is the way of the Gospel, the way of love. And it is precisely how God deals with us. Jesus comes as the embodiment and manifestation of God’s love and mercy not because we deserve it, but because his desire for our healing is greater than the offense of our sin. We see this truth on display right in the midst of his crucifixion: as people are mocking and killing him, Jesus says, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do” (Lk 23:34). Jesus sees past the act into the heart of the one who acts, and desires for the love and mercy of God to break through to provide forgiveness, healing, and restoration. Ultimately, forgiveness means allowing love to triumph over anger and vengeance. It does not minimize the reality of sin, but seeks to conquer it with love, because, in the end, only love can break the cycle of violence and hatred.
And as we encounter this mercy of God, it should transform us and lead us to embody that same love for others. This is precisely what the servant in Jesus’ parable today missed. The only appropriate response to the gracious mercy of God is to freely extend that mercy to others. In fact, every time we pray the Our Father, we ask God to “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” – which essentially means we are telling God to be as merciful to us as we are to others. This doesn’t mean we have to earn God’s mercy… God’s mercy always comes first and is freely given. He doesn’t forgive us because we have forgiven others, but he does say that our capacity to truly experience his mercy is in a certain sense dependent upon our ability to embody that mercy toward others. Jesus says, “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Mt 5:7). As John Paul II says, “Christ, in revealing the love - mercy of God, at the same time demanded from people that they also should be guided in their lives by love and mercy” (Dives in Misericordia, 3). The gift of forgiveness that we receive from God, if it is to really bear fruit in our lives, but be shared and given away to others.
But how do we do this? Jesus never said it would be easy. The Catechism, in considering Jesus’ command to “Be merciful, even as your heavenly Father is merciful” says, “It is impossible to keep the Lord’s command by imitating the divine model from outside; there has to be a vital participation, coming from the depths of the heart, in the holiness and the mercy and the love of our God. Only the Spirit by whom we live can make ‘ours’ the same mind that was in Christ Jesus” (CCC 2842). The forgiveness that we are called to give as Christians requires a strength that goes beyond ourselves. Only a heart that is truly open to God’s grace and receptive to the movement of the Holy Spirit can love and forgive others with the radical mercy of Jesus. “It is not in our power not to feel or to forget an offense; but the heart that offers itself to the Holy Spirit turns injury into compassion and purifies the memory in transforming the hurt into intercession” (CCC 2843).
Forgiving others doesn’t mean that we aren’t hurt or offended, it means seeking to overcome that hurt with mercy and love. This is why Jesus instructs us to pray for our enemies. Because praying for our enemies first converts them from an enemy to a friend in our hearts. And when we begin to view people differently in our hearts, we can begin to act differently toward them in daily life. Jesus says that this love for others, especially those who have “trespassed against us”, will be the distinguishing mark of Christians in the world, so much so that St. Clement said, “whoever does not love those who hate him is not a Christian” (Second Letter of Clement, 13). Yikes! If that doesn’t capture the demanding nature of the Gospel, I don’t know what does. Jesus calls us to love in a way that reflects his own humble, selfless, and sacrificial love. And this radical love is meant to be the distinguishing feature of Christians and the means by which “all people will know that you are [Jesus’] disciples” (Jn 13:35). The supernatural quality of our love (manifested in our forgiveness of others) is a witness and revelation of the great love and mercy of God. Which means that forgiving is a key part of evangelization. When we forgive others, we become a living embodiment of God, who is “love and mercy itself” (Closing Prayer to the Chaplet of Divine Mercy).
Our encounter with the mercy of God is transformative… if we let be. And as we allow this mercy to change our hearts, we are empowered to extend forgiveness to others and become instruments of God’s love and mercy in the world. The entire Gospel message is about the power of love and forgiveness in overcoming sin and death. And when we forgive others, we show that world that “love is stronger than sin” (CCC 2844).